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Muskrat Ramblings for Now People


June 2nd, 2004

I *told* you I was ill... @ 08:35 am

Current Mood: numb numb
Current Music: "Birds Fly" - Icehouse

To paraphrase Spike Milligan's "I told you I was ill"...

I told you there was a bloody great peacock in my backyard.







It's gone now. But it was here yesterday evening, roosting in a tree (peacocks roost? who knew?) and this morning it was back.

I e-mail my friend Letitia, who has helped me rescue more than one animal. You're over-reacting, she says. "Peacock," I reiterate. "P-E-A-C-O-C-K. Not squirrel. Not chipmunk. Not bloody nuthatch. Peacock."

My wife (who first spotted the creature) tells me to call the Department of Natural Resources, and then she leaves for work as casually -- say -- as if there was no peacock in our back yard.

I call the DNR.

The DNR says peacocks are not native to Wisconsin. Try the Henry Vilas Zoo.

The Henry Vilas Zoo says it has not lost a peacock. Try Animal Control.

Animal Control says peacocks are hard to catch (they conferred on this). Try the Humane Society.

The Humane Society says try the Police Dispatcher.

The Police Dispatcher says try Animal Control (again).

Animal Control says try a farm.

A farm? I ask. As in Moo Cows?

We'll look it up, they say.

They give me the phone number of a fruit and berry farm that might also be in the peacock biz.

I call this fruit and berry farm that might also be in the peacock biz.

Do you deal in peacocks? I ask the woman who answers the phone.

Peacocks? she asks, as if I had said "A herd of purple antelope."

Peacocks, I confirm. There is a peacock in our back yard.

Let me ask Harry (the names have been changed to protect the innocent) and call you back, she says.

I wait.

The phone rings.

Yes, Harry thinks it might be one of ours, she says, when she calls back (Harry apparently has a better handle on their peacock situation than she does). Harry says they go roaming for mates this time of year, she says, adding that Harry's at the Farmers' Market now. He'll call you back.

And so I sit, awaiting word from the mysterious Harry, lord of all peacock lore.

Meanwhile, there was a bloody great peacock in our back yard...

Did I mention that?
 
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Comments

 
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From:terheyt
Date:June 2nd, 2004 07:47 am (UTC)
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Cute Peacock. Don't keep it. They're MEAN!
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From:pyat
Date:June 2nd, 2004 07:48 am (UTC)
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Maybe it's edible?

"I hear peacocks is prac-tick-a-lee chickens."

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From:dazzedelf
Date:June 2nd, 2004 07:49 am (UTC)
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get it drunk, take all its feathers and draw a muskrat on its side.
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From:kestrel127
Date:June 2nd, 2004 07:52 am (UTC)
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You are so metaquotes'd.
From:2ndlaw
Date:June 2nd, 2004 08:00 am (UTC)

my folks had peacocks once

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My folks had peacocks and they are actually pretty nice birds if you don't mind their annoying calls or the fact that they will roost on top of your house.
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From:neversremedy
Date:June 2nd, 2004 08:13 am (UTC)

Re: my folks had peacocks once

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Strange, I want to raise peacocks because of their calls ... I find them soothing.
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From:azurelunatic
Date:June 2nd, 2004 10:00 am (UTC)

Re: my folks had peacocks once

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My elder paternal aunt has peacocks. There's one young peacock who she calls "sh**ball" for his habit of roosting on her lower roof (right outside the bedroom window) and then waking up in the middle of the night and feeling lost and yelling about it.
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From:rohmie
Date:June 2nd, 2004 02:39 pm (UTC)

Re: my folks had peacocks once

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"My folks had peacocks once"

From an old Carrol Burnett Show:

Harvey Korman: Don't think about trying to escape. We have cohorts!

Tim Conway: Well, I don't have to worry about that. I had that when I was young ...
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From:spacecrime
Date:June 2nd, 2004 08:03 am (UTC)

The Starving Artists' Guild has cancelled your membership.

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Sheesh. Guy draws a few cartoons, illustrates a few hit games, next thing you know he's putting on airs and living in a big house with peacocks in the front yard. What's next -- a gigantic marble statue of Igor-as-Michelangelo's-David?

:D

-- Envious Peon Chris
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From:neadods
Date:June 2nd, 2004 09:02 am (UTC)

Re: The Starving Artists' Guild has cancelled your membership.

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a gigantic marble statue of Igor-as-Michelangelo's-David

Oh thank you, I need brain bleach now.
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From:his_one_lovely
Date:June 2nd, 2004 07:42 pm (UTC)

Re: The Starving Artists' Guild has cancelled your membership.

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Aye, 'tis a painful thought... Very painful... Igor should be, fully clothed, at all times. *nods fervently*
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From:britgeekgrrl
Date:June 2nd, 2004 08:09 am (UTC)
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A few years ago, I was in Connecticut, down by the river, and came across a peacock, strutting his stuff (tail feathers on display and all) for the benefit of a red Honda.

Peacocks aren't native in New England, either.

The car wasn't buying it, but the peacock was determined to show this big bright box who was boss (or he was trying to get a date, I'm not sure) and stayed there for at least half an hour.

I later learned that there was an honest-to-gosh peacock farm in the vicinity, and the locals were quite used to seeing escapees prowling the neighborhood for a little action - but the best they could find was with parked cars... weird!
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From:whotheheckami
Date:June 2nd, 2004 08:17 am (UTC)
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They're good eating, but you'll need a big cooker!
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From:agent_23
Date:June 2nd, 2004 09:43 am (UTC)
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Just curious, do they taste like chicken or have a flavor and texture all their own?
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From:whotheheckami
Date:June 2nd, 2004 01:17 pm (UTC)
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They taste more gamey like a cross between a wild turkey and pheasant
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From:agent_23
Date:June 2nd, 2004 02:41 pm (UTC)
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Thanks for the info! I'm sure some peacock out there thanks you too for saving it from my dinner plate :9
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From:whotheheckami
Date:June 2nd, 2004 02:42 pm (UTC)
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LOL - glad to be of help :@)
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From:seanmonster
Date:June 3rd, 2004 03:37 am (UTC)
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Wait, do they taste like 'a wild turkey' or like Wild Turkey the wiskey?
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From:whotheheckami
Date:June 3rd, 2004 09:34 am (UTC)
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You wish :@)
From:doccross
Date:June 2nd, 2004 08:31 am (UTC)

On Peacocks

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Ok, Former Country Boy to the rescue here...

1: Peacocks are not at all rare on farms or country property. Many people have them. Most of the big chick hatcheries sell them.

2: They will wander all over, which is where yours came from.

3: They have loud brash calls and shit all over, usually from somewhere high up.

4: You can eat them, but I have no idea how they taste.

5: I can't wait to see how this appears in Dork Tower.
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From:evildmguy
Date:June 2nd, 2004 08:50 am (UTC)

Re: On Peacocks

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5: I can't wait to see how this appears in Dork Tower.

That's what I was thinking!

Have a good one! Take care!

edg
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From:another_chapter
Date:June 2nd, 2004 08:38 am (UTC)
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what an amazing and amusing tale!
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From:tamnonlinear
Date:June 2nd, 2004 08:42 am (UTC)
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Surfing in from metaquotes:

It was a common belief in the world of antiquity that peacock flesh was incorruptible. Peacocks are therefore often pictured in painting of Christ, to symbolize death without decay. St. Augustine remarked in his confessions that he was hoping to get some peacock for a dinner as it would keep indefinitely. Their tongues are supposed to be particularly tasty.

Actual peacock would probably not keep as well. I assume most people raise them more for their feathers than their flesh. The feathers make good cat toys, by the way.

This is useless information, but I thought I'd share it anyway.

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From:muskrat_john
Date:June 2nd, 2004 08:53 am (UTC)
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>>This is useless information<<

Not to someone who has cats!

A quick serach of the yard reveals no abandoned peacock feathers.

More's the pity...

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From:vivian_shaw
Date:June 2nd, 2004 09:01 am (UTC)
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Looks like a peahen to me.

They're charming beasts, if you can get past the "Ah-AHHHHHHHHHH" call they make every five minutes or so. My college had a few wandering the campus, and every now and then the males would display to passing students.
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From:a_nightengale
Date:June 2nd, 2004 12:26 pm (UTC)
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every now and then the males would display to passing students.

That brings up some ... unfortunate... images. :)
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From:wyrdness
Date:June 2nd, 2004 03:48 pm (UTC)
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I think it's a younger peacock, peahens tend be drab and dull all over, but that one is nicely blue too :3
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From:simedog
Date:June 2nd, 2004 09:08 am (UTC)
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oh man, i live in an apartment complex in orlando, florida. someone that lives right next to the complex has six or seven peacocks as pets. they are always wandering around the complex, and they make the most annoying sounds at all hours of the day. they look so cool though! i want to try and pet one, but i fear it will eat my face off.
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From:livejamie
Date:June 2nd, 2004 09:16 am (UTC)
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this is an excellent entry!
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From:syreene
Date:June 2nd, 2004 09:19 am (UTC)

Their cries unnerve me...

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I remember walking through the zoo hearing them, and I swear they would sound like kids crying...but no, that was the peacocks...

Well, at least you didn't open your back door to find a moose staring at you or anything... ;)
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From:k_kinnison
Date:June 2nd, 2004 10:44 am (UTC)
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*gets out his trusty protocal droid for translation*
The DNR says peacocks are not native to Wisconsin.
Your high
The Henry Vilas Zoo says it has not lost a peacock.
Get lost, your a crazy person
Animal Control says peacocks are hard to catch.
Most birds are hard to catch, catch it yourself you whimp
The Humane Society says try the Police Dispatcher.
we don't want your steenking peacock
The Police Dispatcher says try Animal Control (again).
Peacocks are animals? I thought there were a figment of NBCs imagination
Animal Control says try a farm.
YOu need to be commited

Its amazing how something so benign can really confuse so many people
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From:lethael
Date:June 2nd, 2004 12:11 pm (UTC)
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Came here from the metaquotes comm. I'm in Sun Prairie, and I wish we got more interesting birds than the ever-present, idiotic mourning doves.
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From:bcxanth
Date:June 2nd, 2004 01:16 pm (UTC)
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In homage to this event I believe a peacock needs to make a cameo in a future DT strip. :D
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From:wiccan_dragon
Date:June 2nd, 2004 02:23 pm (UTC)
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What would DT be without the real life inspiring humor such as this? They say truth is stranger than fiction, and it's a whole lot funnier!
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From:teddywolf
Date:June 2nd, 2004 03:07 pm (UTC)
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jadasc, whom you know a little, is sometimes referred to as a peacock. It must be an emissary of his.
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From:andricongirl
Date:June 2nd, 2004 04:36 pm (UTC)
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peacocks have the most annoying call ever!

aghh, and they can be vicious when slightly tame around people, they come steal your food right out of your hand, and they seem to like ignoring the fact that fingers are not food ;]
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From:his_one_lovely
Date:June 2nd, 2004 07:49 pm (UTC)
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Lovely bird, strange stray animal... Of course, I just had to share this entry with a few of my friends, who will begin to read Dork Tower within the next few days. Because I told them too. And they think you're funny. I too cannot wait to see how this will be used in a DT strip.

I wouldn't mind having a real peacock feather... Though, I'm quite sure a peacock would be angry at me for sneaking up on it and plucking one. Heh, not that I'm any good at sneaking.

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From:seanmonster
Date:June 3rd, 2004 03:49 am (UTC)
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When I was stationed at Shaw AFB in Sumter SC, we had peacocks and geese on the base golf course. One time, I had been assigned to do clean-up around the base, and I got parts of, you guessed it, the golf course. While I was cleaning off a patio near a small pond, I noticed that I wasn't alone. The peacocks AND the geese were teaming up to circle me. I guess they felt I was threating their home.

Little did they know, I had a hose.

MUHAHAHAHAHA!
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From:neadods
Date:June 3rd, 2004 07:50 am (UTC)
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We were discussing your peahen over dinner and came up with this scenario:

Peahen/peacock shows up outside Matt's place.
Igor decides "It MUST be mine!"
Peacock takes one look at him coming and thinks "MASH! MASH! MASH!" (They truely are vicious critters. Second only to swans, which are about as chivalrously romantic as activated chain saws. Really.)
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From:gavriela
Date:June 3rd, 2004 09:07 am (UTC)
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...Yeah, um...that peacock might be one of "mine", actually... It looks like one of the ones that have been around here since January. It's about medium-to-small-dog-sized? It is a peahen, a female. They've been strolling about my neighborhood for the past six months or so, at least. I thought I was going out of my mind the first time I saw them. Just one would have been enough, but I saw seven, the first time. I refer you here, and here, for more peacocky happenings. And it's very strange...of all the kinds of peacocks to show up in Wisconsin as well as traipse about my yard and neighborhood...your'n is the exact same kind as mine. Think it's a sign of things to come? And yes, these buggers do fly, even though they look bulky/unwieldy. They can make with the flapping quite well.
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From:isolde_deely
Date:June 3rd, 2004 09:59 am (UTC)

giving the bird :)

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The ones I have seen most recently are the ones in Cave Hill cemetary (Lou KY). They tend to get fed a lot.

I wasn't aware that they were so common a farm animal, myself. And I might need some cat toys - I'll have to go and climb that tree for your peacock, John,. I'll even save you a couple feathers.

Just kidding:)
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From:copernicus
Date:June 4th, 2004 12:40 pm (UTC)
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One of these days I'll figure out why interesting things only happen in Wisconsin when I leave to visit California.
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From:summondice
Date:June 5th, 2004 12:23 am (UTC)

peacocks in Idaho

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About once every 2-3 years I see peacocks in random places. I was driving in the country about a month ago and for a stretch of about 5 miles they dotted the country side. I couldn't figure out exactly where they originated, but figure it must have been a farm.

Then there's the llamas that pop up periodically...
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From:kesmun
Date:June 8th, 2004 04:06 pm (UTC)
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This so sounds like a Dork Tower or Full Frontal Nerdity strip to me. http://bash.org/?146497

Dork Tidings

Muskrat Ramblings for Now People