Dork Tidings

The Daily Cardinal and other avians...

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 17:44:22 GMT

This coming weekend marks the 120th birthday of the UW-Madison Daily Cardinal, one of the oldest student newspapers in the country, and the paper that launched me on the patch to my career.

True, I was cartooning for the Millfield Windmill, the bi-weekly newspaper of my old school in Somerset, England. And I did throw some cartoons the way of the Queen Mary College newspaper - don't even remember what it was called, to be honest. And the UW-Parkside Ranger was pretty much where I hung out exclusively, when I was down that way.

But it was the Daily Cardinal - with the emphasis on daily - that really set me on the path I still trod today. The worst semester of my life? The one where I stopped doing cartoons when I'd occasionally feel witty enough for one, and started doing them daily. Day in. Day out. I may have been the first student in the UW's history to attempt a daily comic strip. You could tell from the bags under my eyes, and my habit of rushing up to strangers, thrusting tiny scraps of paper with scribblings on them in their faces, and desperately screaming "Is THIS ONE funny? No? How about THIS ONE..?"

I suppose I should blame my Economics degree a bit, as well. Economics came preternaturally easily to me: I could quite literally skip two out of three classes, and still get straight "A"s. Indeed, during Microeconomics 201, taught by my favorite professor, I skipped every class between the 6-Week exam and the 12-Week exam.

I didn't mean to, you understand. But blowing off school builds up its own kind of sick slacker momentum.

Two days before the 12-Week exam, I cracked open the class' textbook, and read the appropriate chapters. Then took the exam.

I got an "A+." The highest score in the class.

"John," sighed my professor, handing back the exam - the kind of sigh that indicated he had just died a little, on the inside - "John, this sets a VERY frightening precedent."

But I'm digressing. Bottom line: the power to skip class and still make the Dean's List allowed me to hang out at the Daily Cardinal offices close to 24/7. This in turn let me meet some of the most amazing and influential folks I ever could have hoped to have hung around. Writers, editors, photographers, cartoonists - great, GREAT cartoonists. The kinds of cartoonists that make you not want to let down the team. "The usual gang of idiots," yes, but a brilliant, talented gang that it was a privilege to work with.

Many ex-Cardinalistas will be showing up on campus this weekend, with armfulls of Emmys and Peabodies and Pulitzers. I guess I could drag my "coveted Origins Award" along, but "awwww...isn't that cuuuuuute?" isn't really the conversational firecracker you think it might be.

Anyway, Wild Life was my comic strip back in my college days, and here's a WILD LIFE strip I did for the 110th Cardinal Anniversary, ten years ago.

Read it now, or wait another decade for its next appearance!

****

BIRDS week continues, as I continue with the reins of Robin Laws' splendidly twisted comic strip. Click on it to get the larger version over at Pelgarne's THE BIRDS site. New strips to be added every day this week.

John

The Original Angry Birds!

Mon, 23 Apr 2012 21:04:56 GMT

It's no secret one of my guilty pleasures is THE BIRDS, a dark, twisted, meta-kinda web stip by my pal Robin D. Laws.

I enjoy it so much, I leapt at the chance to write the forward to the first collection, published by Pelgrane Press. Well, now, the second collection - "There Goes My Dream Job" - is coming out, and Robin asked if I'd do a week's worth of BIRDS strips, to help celebrate the fact.

More work for no money? Why, yes. Yes, please!

OK. In all honesty, this was too hard to turn down. In part because it consisted mostly of cutting-and-pasting a single drawing in Photoshop (must stay TRUE to the spirit of the strip, don'cha know?), but mainly because it meant getting to play in Robin's severely dysfunctional sandbox (LOOK OUT FOR SHARDS OF GLASS!), and, golly, it's just not that often that I get the opportunity to draw characters pulling handguns on each other in DORK TOWER.

(BTW - If you think anthropomorphic gunplay is bad, it gets worse as the week goes on. Trust me - it gets much, much worse.)

So anyway, here's the first strip. You may wanna click on it to get the larger version over at Pelgarne's THE BIRDS site. New strips to be added every day this week.

So, thank you, Robin! It was a ton of fun, and I'm looking forward to the new collection. I'm sure it will be a blast.

A quick blast to the abdomen from from a Saturday Night Special, to be specific...

*****

Possibly it's the deep, dark, BIRDS frame of mind I find myself in, this week, but the following popped up in my inbox this morning:

------------------------------------------------------------------------

FROM: UpdateServices
SUBJECT: Update
TO: <Recipients List>

Dear Email User
This message is from Information Technology Services of This EMAIL to all our Staff. We are currently upgrading our database and e-mail center and this is our final notification to you.we have sent several messages to you without response.
We are deleting all unused Mail account to create space for new accounts. In order not to be suspended, you will have to update your account by providing the information listed below: reply to.

Confirm Your E-Mail Details..
Email.......................
User name: ..................
Password:..............
Re Confirm Password:.............

If you fail to confirm your continuous usage of our services by confirming your email password now, your account will be disable and you will not be able to access your email.

You should immediately reply this email: updatevices@yahoo.jp and enter your password in the above password column.
Thanks for your understanding.
Regard,
IT Services

------------------------------------------------------------------------

REALLY, Spammers? REALLY? You've just given up even trying, now?

I actually feel a little bit sorry for you, you know. Yes - your spammy phishing e-mail attempt was that sad and pathetic. I mean, this is actually the sorriest excuse at a phishing attempt that I believe I've ever seen. What are you? The Baldrick of spammers? "I have a cunning e-mail..." "Yes updatevices@yahoo.jp, let us not forget that you tried to solve the problem of your mother's pop-up ads by throwing her desktop into a dung-heap..."

No, really, spammers - can you please just admit that you've actually lost your love for the business? You're going through the motions, now. You're simply phoning it in. The joy of the job is gone.

You can't - oh, how to put this without sniggering at the irony - get it up anymore.

Don't worry, though. I hear there's a treatment for it.

Grow a big package once more! Canadian Pharmacy: USPS - Fast Delivery Shipping 1-4 day USA 100% guarantee on delivery FDA approved productas 350000+ satisfied customers!

If interested contact me for more details via my personal email, Bite.Me@No.Really.Bite.Me.Com

John

My Weekend - PLUS: Sneak Secret Project Peek!

Thu, 19 Apr 2012 16:18:36 GMT

The upcoming weekend is turning out to be a bit of a busy one, for me. Though I'm still hoping to take some weekend off, soon, following the marathon that the Munchkin Apocalypse game art became, it obviously won't be this one. But Apocalypse is all in the past now. Done, done, DONE! Stick a Fork in it. A +5 Radioactive one! Huzzah!

Munchkin Apocalypse was a bit mad (180 cards in 28 days), but it was a blast (figuratively and literally, given some of the cards). This is definitely going to be the prettiest Munchkin game ever, and I think we may have some peeks at art to show you, soon. A few of the cards are amongst my favorites ever - although, I'll be frank: with all the art specs that began "Hordes of..." "Many, Many..." and "Crowds of..," I do feel just a teensy bit like I was hit by a bus. Wait. Make that "Hordes of" busses. To say nothing of that one card that required a D-Day Omaha Beach invasion scene!

Anyway, a couple of cool things are on the docket for this weekend.

(1) THE DAN POTACKE BIRTHDAY SPECIAL 7 PM, April 19, the Frequency.

If you're in the Madison area, I'll be joining local comedian and cartoonist Alan Talaga, as a guest on his hilarious Dan Potacke show. It's at the Frequency, and the fun starts at 7 pm. There's no cover charge. Think of it as a podcast that doesn't - you know - actually involve any podcasting. It'll be a hoot. I may have some swag to give away.

(2) ODDCON - Radisson Inn, April 20-22

Madison's general fandom convention takes place this Friday, Saturday and Sunday. I'll be around, enjoying the panels and basking in the genius that guests of honor Larry Niven (!!!) and Kenneth Hite will be bringing to the proceedings. It all takes place at the Radisson Inn on Madison's West Side, dangerously close to Pegasus Games and the Last Square, so there are very few reasons why you shouldn't be there!

I'll be doing a signing at Oddcon 1 pm on Saturday, along with my pal the ever-captivating Kenneth Hite.

*****

Last weekend was the ACD Games Day distributor open house. There was much love for Munchkin and Dork Tower from retailers who came from as far away as the coasts, to partake in ACD Distributions' wonderful annual event, and it was great seeing old friends from the industry again. I was even able to get a few games in! Let me just say that Tsuro of the Sea from Calliope Games was a hoot! And I finally got to see UGH!, a tremendously fun card game that I illustrated for them ("Stonepunk" is definitely the direction I took its prehistoric theme in).

My arm was hardly recovered from Munchkin Apocalypse, but it's always wonderful to sign stuff for the retailers. They're on the front lines of this business, and anything I can do to help, I'll try to. (NOTE: "Helping" often involves buying cool games from them, rather than Amazon. Hey - it's a tough gig, but somebody's gotta do it!)

*****

As promised...here's a sneak-peek at the super-cool secret project I'm working on. MATT HAS A BUDDY! You may recognize him. IT MUST BE MINE! Hold on - it IS mine!

More to come on this as it develops!

Comments? E-mail me here - John

StellarCon 36

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 19:26:38 GMT

So anyhoo, I'll be at StellarCon 36 (High Point, North Carolina) this weekend, as the Special Guest of Honor! (Want me to come to a con? The guidelines are here.)

I've heard great things about the show, and I'm looking forward to it - along with what is almost surely going to be a futile search for Shrimp and Grits (too far north, apparently), and a less futile search for some solid 'Que.

I'm not bringing any stuff to sell - but I'll be hanging about the con for what appears to be the vast majority of it.

If you happen to be in the area, here's where I'll be found:

FRIDAY, 4 pm - Gaming 101 - A workshop-style panel in which experienced game designers and game masters take you through each step necessary to play in a tabletop game.

FRIDAY, 6 pm - Opening Ceremonies/Cabaret - StellarCon 36 officially begins here! Following a brief ceremony, StellarCon's always-fun Cabaret at the End of the Universe will debut at its new time.

SATURDAY, 9 am - Authors vs Artists SFF Pictionary - In this StellarCon tradition, hosted by Danny Birt, we find out whether or not artistic talent has anything to do with being good at Pictionary as author and artist go head to head.

SATURDAY, 1 pm - Illustrating Card Games - Creating art that looks good and fits into a tiny box is its own kind of challenge. Experts provide their experiences from working in this unique format.

SATURDAY, 3 pm - Interview with John Kovalic - An interview with Special Guest of Honor John Kovalic.

SATURDAY 6 pm - Writing Comics - As a format, comic strips and comic books have their own rules distinct from prose or scripts. Professionals familiar with those differences share and offer advice in this panel.

SATURDAY, 8 pm - Game Design 101 - Game designers get into the nuts and bolts of creating a game from scratch, whether it's a board game, card game, roleplaying game, or something more unusual.

SUNDAY, 11 am - Awards in Sci-Fi and Fantasy - Which awards matter? Who will win them?

As always, I'm happy to sign pretty much whatever you want (NOTE: certain body parts do not apply) - though be warned, this does tend to drive the prices down on anything I autograph (another fine reason not to have me sign certain body parts).

Hope to see some of you there!

John

Sketchy Stuff...

Tue, 21 Feb 2012 19:07:57 GMT

I haven't posted any of my warm-up sketches, recently. Sorry about that.

Here's yesterday's. I like it enough that I've started turning the idea into a proper print.

CINDY-LOU WHO, The Doctor Who's No More Than Two:

As always, if you'd like the originals of these sketches, they're $45, postage included. Add $5 for overseas shipping. Paypal gladly accepted.

SPEAKING OF SKETCHING...

As is often the case, I think the sketch I did of Matt Smith for Monday's cartoon turned out better than the actual finished drawing. I believe other cartoonists know the frustration of this, when it happens. I've got no idea how the Doctor's cowlick grew to such proportions on the final, but there you go...

By the way, as happy as I was with how the original sketch turned out, you have NO IDEA how hard it is to find photos of Matt Smith in profile! Seriously. I think I came up with about two, out of 100 Matt Smith pics overall.

How it turned out (good...but not AS good, I feel).

Anyway, I still love the first sketch of Matt. I'm no great caricaturist, so those few times I think to myself that I've managed to capture something, I'm happy.

Possibly I'll turn the sketch into a larger painting - albeit a stylized one - or a print, as well.

But I have a sketch now. Sketches are cool.

John

The Three-Minute Warm-Up sketches...

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 17:00:20 GMT

The idea for the morning warm-up sketches came from my pal, Stacy Curtis. He began posting his morning sketches on his Facebook page and I, frankly, had fallen out of the habit of sketching.

There's little I emphasize more to kids who want to become cartoonists than "Sketch, sketch, SKETCH!" Well, that and learn to live on Ramen Noodles. Still, "Carry a sketchbook on you at all times" is what I'll usually tell younglings. And yet, here I was, failing to follow my own very good, solid and sensible advice.

Warming up in the morning has also proven pretty important for the rest of the work I get done that day. It seems to shake the cobwebs out of the old noggin. Some sketches are more successful than others, and none of them are supposed to look GREAT (though I'm thankful when sometimes they look cool). I give myself three minutes to come up with anything: more sketching may follow, but that first one of the day needs to be done in less time than it takes to boil an egg. I doesn't have to be a masterpiece, it just has to be DONE.

Anyway, here's this morning's Three-Minute Warm-Up Sketch (which actually took two minutes - leaving me a full minute to, say, boil an egg): CAP'THULHU AMERICA!

There's probably a line somewhere about him being "the first IA-venger," but I'm not touching it.

If you click on the image, you SHOULD see a larger version of the drawing.

John

Between a Rock and a Hard Munchkin Project...

Mon, 28 Nov 2011 18:23:04 GMT

Muskrat Ramblings
Between a rock and a hard Munchkin deadline...
posted by John

This is a busy, messy week for me. I'm between Munchkin projects, and between major holidays. As a friend of mine cleverly pointed out, Thanksgiving in the US is the point where we switch from complaining that Christmas is being celebrated too early to complaining that Christmas is coming too soon.

Anyway, the long and the short of it is that this week, Dork Tower will run on Tuesday and Thursday, as I work on getting a backlog together. I'll try and get a third strip up, but can't promise anything in that regard. Fingers crossed.

In the meantime, here's this morning's Warm-Up Sketch: "A Girl and her Dragon." I don't think I had a young Anne McCaffrey in mind when I quickly doodled it, but I don't wonder whether her passing last week was why I had dragons on the mind.

Wouldn't it be nice to think so?

If you click on the image, you SHOULD see a larger version of the drawing.

John

Oh, THERE you are, Perry!

Tue, 25 Oct 2011 20:51:38 GMT

Like Munchkin?

Like "Phineas and Ferb"?

So do I. Hard.

Here's a little bit of funsies I came up with, while drawing Munchkin Conan:

(Click the image above for a larger version. WHY YOU WOULD WANT THIS, I DO NOT KNOW. But I'm easy, that way).

It goes without saying, this is NOT anything officially to do with Munchkin, "Phieas and Ferb" or my lunch hour.

But there you go. :-)

John

Just sayin', is all

Sat, 08 Oct 2011 17:08:30 GMT

YES, Internet. I *get* it. Bob Hope, Johnny Cash and Steve Jobs are dead. We have no more "Hope, Cash or Jobs." But we STILL have Courtney Love, Kevin Bacon and Anthony Head...

"What do you want?"

Tue, 26 Jul 2011 16:01:42 GMT

So, this last weekend at San Diego Comic Con was pretty amazing.

I didn't have a booth there, and I didn't do any panels. just meetings. Lots and lots of meetings.

I always leave, feeling like the Uncool Kid in school. And remember: this is around NERDS... Possibly because of all the LA nerds at SDCC. LA nerds are strange and powerful creatures of beauty. Stare not directly at their auras...lest they drain your soul...

Anyway, these meetings were great and cool and productive. But I'm a bit haunted by a question someone asked: "What do you WANT?"

"To tell stories," was my answer.

But now, I'm not entirely sure that was it. I'm not great with on-the-spot answers. I usually have to think about things, for a bit.

So I though. For a couple of days.

What do I want?

(1) To be the best father and husband I can be.

(2) To keep working, and to do the best work I can.

(3) To make people happy, through my work.

(4) To be a good, honest person. And world peace. And +10 Sprinkles of Awesome on my SOLID GOLD ICE-CREAM CONE. And unicorns and double-rainbows, and...YES, YES, YES, we get it. So let's just stick with (1), (2) and (3), and assume all the rest is lurking back there, the same as it ever was, OK? Jeeze. This is maudlin enough already. You people hve no idea how much work it is to be this sincere.

Anyway, where were we? Oh, yeah. What do I want? (1), (2) and (3). In that order? Probably. Though (2) and (3) may change places, from time to time...but in general, you get the point.

I'd add "To be Happy," but my family and my work make me very, very happy. How ridiculously lucky am I? All I need to do is be around my family, and work harder, to become happier.

My work is telling stories. I haven't been telling enough, recently.

That's changing.

Honest. (See #4).

Spork Tower I - Stew it Begins...

Wed, 20 Jul 2011 18:52:53 GMT

No matter how busy things get, a slow-cooked supper just seems to make life easier. A few weeks ago, things were chaotic: I was behind on deadlines; I needed to rush off to the big-screen showing of Lord of the Rings: The Two Tower (Extended Cut - or "DANG, by butt is numb" in Elvish); Judith and Louisa were coming home late. Fortunately, necessity is the mother of om nom nom nom (NOTE: holy cats, am I getting tired of the phrase "om nom nom nom" - don't know why I went there, just then...sorry about that - shan't happen again), and this dish saved the day.

I was nicely surprised with how well this hearty, tasty stew turned out. I was also pleased with how very easy the stew was to prepare. So I wanted to share (by which I mean: "Wanted to write this down before I forgot it," but sharing is ALWAYS a good thing...even with ulterior motives).

Here's the recipe I based mine on: http://www.food.com/recipe/tuscan-chicken-stew

The basic recipe - found by Googling "Tuscan chicken stew," looked fine, but I had other ideas - I wanted to turn it more into something like the amazing, rustic bean soups served by the Osteria Papavero. AND LOOK! I have Parmesan rinds in the fridge. MANY Parmesan rinds. Good lord - HOW did I collect this many Parmesan rinds? They should do a reality show about me and my Parmesan rind problem. Like "Hoarders," but with huge hunks of Parmesan rinds...and less of the soul-crushing sadness...

BUT I DIGRESS! Bottom line: It came out great: easy to make, with layered, rich flavors: best of all, it was both healthy and delicious. Happy cartoonist was happy! So were wifey and daughter.

Tuscan-ish Chicken stew with Chard

Serves 4-6
Time: 4 hours
Active time: 30 minutes

INGREDIENTS:

1 1/2 lb chicken thighs
1/4 cup olive oil
1 medium onion, thinly sliced, or 1/2 large onion
1 large bunch chard - I dunno - I'm thinking 1 lb, or so. Stemmed (leaves only)
10 garlic cloves, added whole
1 (28 ounce) can peeled tomatoes, blended smooth
2/3 cup dry white wine
1/2 lb Parmesian cheese rind
2 teaspoon dried oregano or 1 large fresh oregano sprig, chopped
2 teaspoons Herbs du Provence (not really Tuscan, but here ya go - this was just because I had some fresh stuff on-hand. Many other herbs would do)
2 (14 1/2 ounce) can cannellini beans, drained and rinsed

Salt and pepper to taste - NOTE: most American canned tomatoes are salted, overly so, and need little if any added salt. The Parmesian will also add saltyness to the stew. So add salt at end only, if needed.

Transfer stew to bowls. You'll need more good extra-virgin olive oil and finely grated Parmesian for garnish, ala Osteria Papavero, BUT WE'LL GET TO THAT LATER! Hold your horses, already. Sheesh.

EQUIPMENT:

Slow cooker
Mixing bowl
Wooden spoon
Ladle for serving

TECHNIQUE

In a crock pot set to high, place the Chicken thigns. In a bowl, mix all the other ingredients except for the chard. Add to crockpot, and stir gently, to mix it around around the chicken. Cover and leave cook for 2 hours.

At the two hour mark, the stew should be bubbly. Add the chard, sliced and chopped into large-ish (1" x2") pieces. Turn Crock Pot to "Low."

Leave for another two hours.

Remove the Parmesian rinds and bay leaves. Do you like chewing on soft, plump Parmesan rinds when you remove them from soups or stews? Because I sure as hell do. It's like turbo testosterone tofu. Well, "tofu" due to the texture. Everything else is all flavor, baby! BUT I DIGRESS AGAIN. Serve the stew drizzled with good olive oil and topped with freshly-grated Parmesan to taste. I tend to go for at least a good tablespoon or two of each per bowl.

At this point, a real Food Blogger will mention you should serve this with a lovely, crusty, rustic bread, But I know you people are not idiots! What do they THINK you're gonna serve this with? Marmots? So I'll just say, if you live in Madison, the best baguettes by far are found at La Baguette and Batch Bakehouse. They also do good rustic Italian loaves. If you don't live in Madison, you're on your own, buddy.

A bit of refinement might be needed, but I was wonderfully happy with at the simplicity and depth of this marvelous little dish. I'd have shared some photos, but I began eating it too soon.

Good grief, I'll suck as a Food Blogger.

A Blast from the Past I

Tue, 19 Jul 2011 18:27:10 GMT

As Monica has me getting things ready for Dork Tower's 15th anniversary year, next year, I've been stumbling across a ton of interesting stuff in the archives.

One things many folks may not realize is that my first web strips actually went online in late 1995/early 1996 (still trying to ascertain the exact date). I was quite aware, at the time, that only a very few people had been putting comics up on the web. Now, with thousands of web cartoonists out there, many doing just amazing work, it's kind of nice to look back and take a bit of pride in knowing I was amongst a mere handful of others, at the time.

Then I stop it, because I start to feel old.

The earliest WILD LIFE comic strip (starring Carson the Muskrat, my precursor to DORK TOWER) I can find, at the moment, seems to be have gone online December 1996. But there's a note on the page saying "It's been about a month since I've updated these pages, but I'm back!" Which would make sense, as I think I was first posting Wild Life online sometime in 1995.

(Hilariously, the page also notes "Downloading the entire week can take a couple of minutes, depending on your modem speed.")

I'm not sure of the month, but DORK TOWER first went online in 1997, soon after it debuted in the January 1997 issue of SHADIS magazine (which came out in 1996). But anyway, THIS is what the website looked like back then:

(CLICK HERE for a larger version of the 1997 DORK TOWER HOME PAGE).

And here are the earliest WILD LIFEs I've yet found:

(CLICK HERE or on the image for a larger version of the EARLIEST WILD LIFES ONLINE (so far)).

More to come, as I unearth the archives...and my eyes continue to bleed...

*****

NOTE: Dork Tower will only be running Tuesday and Thursday this week, gang. My apologies - but gearing up for San Diego Comic Con is taking up an enormous amount of time. I won't have a booth, but I'll be wandering around, with lots of meetings scheduled. I may Tweet some secret times and places where you can get a "THE LUGGAGE" Munchkin Discworld card from me, so follow me at @muskrat_john on Twitter, if such silliness interest you...

The Matt Puppets

Thu, 14 Jul 2011 18:51:59 GMT

So, I popped up to Convergence a couple of weeks ago, in part to take part in the annual madness that is IRON ARTIST, and in part to meet up with various members of Team Blink, as we get ever nearer to publishing more Dr. Blink comics.

Imagine my delight as I was confronted by my pal, the puppeteer, Gordon Smuder. Not just because Gordon's a great guy, but because he had the first prototype for the Dork Tower Puppet Theater Matt puppet with him!

(Check out some of Gordon's other puppetry works by clicking on through to Transylvania Television).

What's that? You haven't heard of Dork Tower Puppet Theater? Well, let's leave that for another post. In the meantime, I'm astounded at how cool the Matt puppet is turning out. Eyeless though he currently is, and in a "vaguely wife-beather-ish" attire though he may be...

By the way, "The Matt Puppets" is an obscure 1980s musical joke. Those of you who know, will know.

Muskrat out,

====== John

PREVIOUS RAMBLINGS:

DISCWORLD MUNCHKIN (PAGE)

HISTORICON AND ON (PAGE)

SIT ON MY FACEBOOK (PAGE)

MUNCHKIN DISCWORLD, you ask?

Thu, 07 Jul 2011 21:07:12 GMT

Quick announcement: It's the PERKY SUMMER SALE, over at Drivethru Comics, and all DORK TOWER and DR. BLINK trade e-books are 25%. Go tyere! Now! Buy stuff! Because we gotta make room for new electrons!

****

It's an enormously busy summer. Sadly, it's also mostly con-free. But by missing the Origins Game Fair last month, I did manage to have the best daddy-daughter day with Louisa I could possibly imagine. It included trips to the Farmers' Market and the Zoo, a neighborhood block party and a Madison Mallards game, ending with the first fireworks she had ever seen.

"It's like Cinderella's Castle," she exclaimed, as she danced and laughed to the pyrotechnics overhead.

I won't be at GenCon this year, nor PAX nor Dragon-Con. Partly, I just want to be around my daughter as long as I can (she's just over two-and-a-half years old, and every moment with her seems to be made up of pure magic). But then there's the fact that I'm enormously busy. The latest giant Munchkin project is in the bag, and I now play catch-up with all the things I've let slide a bit. (Hint: you'll always be able to tell when I'm busy, as I tend to run cartoons as utterly stupid as yesterday's.)

Now, if YOU'RE going to go to a con - saaaaaay, the North American Discworld Convention, right here in Madison, WI - then you'll likely be one of the first people to pick up the Munchkin Discworld one-off promo card. It was an idea I had, and fortunately, the stars aligned, and Steve Jackson's people got in touch with terry Pratchett's people, and, long story short...ta-DAH!

The full story of the card, and when and where it will be available, can be found here.

An EXTREME closeup can be found here.

Yeah, if you think I was thrilled to draw an official, licensed version of Conan the Barbarian, you can probably quadruple that for sheer geek fanboy joy I got from drawing one of Sir Terry's characters.

"l hit you on Youface. But you've got to promise to fingertag me back"...

Tue, 21 Jun 2011 19:58:28 GMT

My Facebook page, http://www.facebook.com/johnkovalic, recently hit 5,000 "friends." And as facebook will readilly tell you, you can't have more than 5,000 friends and be a real person. No, sir - you need to be a corporation, celebrity or monarch.

(I am not making the "monarch" thing up. It may be a Facebook joke. It probably is. But, frighteningly, IT MAY NOT! That's just how Facebook is, anymore.)

Anyway, as a slew of other folks wanted to join the fun, so today, I took the plunge and turned my Personal Facebook Page into a Corporate/Celebrity/Monarch page.

If you were a "Friend" before, you've been automatically transported over to the new page...whether you like it or not!

("Whether you like it or not," by the way, would be my entry if Facebook ever had a "Create our new motto" competition).

If you weren't my "Friend" before, well, now we can never apparently be friends ever again. Ever. At least according to Facebook.

But you CAN "Like" me.

So, "Like" me at http://www.facebook.com/johnkovalic. Why? Because we like you.

****

By the by, my very first post on the new Facebook page had a pretty awful typo in it. Which (a) is par for the course, and (b) what with Facebook being Facebook I can NEVER EDIT OUT, EVER means there's no better time than now to plug my "TYPOS HAPPNE" t-shirts...in both Men's and Ladies' cuts.

****

No Origins or Gen Con for me, this year, I fear. With all the work to do, plus the generally feeling that I lost control of things these last eight or nine months, I've made the decision to just stay home and work.

And, you know, play with my daughter.

****

Possible new toy, in the My Little Cthulhu line: "My Little Geekthulhu."

Each Little Victim would be its own geeky archetype. Though how I'm gonna covince Dreamland Toyworks to let me add bunny ears to the Fuzzy Victim, I'm not figured out, yet.

So. Basically. Imagine THIS guy...

With glasses and pocket protectors.

Like? Thoughts?

Fingertag me on Youface and let me know...

Dork Tidings - The Rules of Engagement

Wed, 12 Jan 2011 16:20:27 GMT

Muskrat Ramblings
The Rules of Engagement
posted by John

To answer the question "HEY, JOHN! HAVE YOU SEEN THE MUNCHKIN CARD PROPOSAL?"...

Yes, I've seen it. Many, many times.

Many. :-)

Big thanks to all for passing the link along. I'd far rather be informed of something a few dozen times than not see it at all.

If you haven't seen or heard of it, it's a delightful Munchkin card that is getting play on icanhascheezburger.com, and has gone ever so slightly viral in geek circles:

I'm still not entirely sure of the name of the guy who printed it up, nor of the outcome (though I'm assuming all went well, as he decided to post the card and not, say, take his own life in an alcohol-fueled fit of despair).

But look, here's the thing: remember the Dork Tower I did about YouTube commenters in particular, but all internet comment pages in general?

So. The majority of the comments under the story are great - positive, affirming, heppy, heppy comments. Of course, there's a grammar thread (really? REALLY?) and even a bit of a rules discussion (this IS Munchkin, after all). So I probably should have stopped reading at that point.

And then I got to these gems:
____________________________________________________________

Reply
Meh
January 11, 2011 at 9:57 pm
too long, didn’t read…
____________________________________________________________

Reply
mai
January 12, 2011 at 3:17 am
who is that card intended for ?
the bearer must get on “one’s” knee to ask for “your” hand in marriage and place the ring on “her” finger ???
the whole damn thing makes no sense whatsoever !
____________________________________________________________

I suppose that's one great thing about idiots: they go so VERY far out of their way, to demonstrate that they are, in fact, idiots.

****

Speaking of Munchkin (or, possibly, speaking of idiots (me)), I'm hard at work on another project that I'm not sure I can announce just yet. But here's a drawing from the set:

I can neither confirm nor deny that this drawing of a lady - with cats - will in the end be a Cat Lady card.

Muskrat out,

====== John

Dork Tidings - Paul Cornell's Very Clever Doctor Who Apples to Apples Set

Thu, 30 Dec 2010 17:07:43 GMT

Dork Tidings
Paul Cornell's Very Clever Doctor Who Apples to Apples Set
posted by John

In times like these, people start far too many articles with the phrase "In times like these."

They also use "Am I right?" and "Who's with me?" much too often. Especially on Twitter.

Am I right? Who's with me?

But a nice thing I've grokked since joining Twitter is that it lets me meet far more clever, interesting people than I otherwise would, these days. (By which I mean "being a generally stay-at-home-midwestern-dadda/cartoonist, who-doesn't-get-to-as-many-conventions-as-he-once-did, in-the-day.")

("In the day" is also used too often, if you ask me. As is "If you ask me.")

One Very Clever person I've been privileged to meet on Twitter is Paul Cornell, writer, wit, raconteur and cricket lover. He's written for Doctor Who, he's written Batman, he's written Captain Britain, and he's cleverer than an entire pack of foxes at a Clever Convention. But you should know this already.

If that's not enough for you, he's also beloved of the CONvergence folks. Which is darned high praise.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, the fantastic Mr. Cornell dropped me a line, saying he was doing a set of Apples to Apples Doctor Who cards, and might I - as the illustrator behind Apples to Apples - sketch a little something for his blog when he posted it.

I was thrilled to be asked, and instead of a sketch, I did up the cartoon you see on the site today. I mean, who wouldn't leap at the chance to draw Tom Baker, a Cyberman and a Dalek - a FREAKING DALEK!!! - playing a silly little card game, when offered the chance?

I note this to explain the apparent random nature of today's cartoon. But also, it's a chance for me to plug Paul's rather brilliant Doctor Who Apples to Apples red apple card set.

You'll have to print this up yourself, of course. And I'm not sure the inkjet blank Apples to Apples cards that Out of the Box once produced are still available in quantity, anywhere. But I'd love to hear from anyone who creates their own deck and gives it a go. Especially over this New Year's Weekend.

You know: in times like these.

Who's with me? Am I Right?

PAUL CORNELL'S RATHER BRILLIANT DOCTOR WHO APPLES TO APPLES SET
by Paul Cornell

Today's blog is going to be a bit boggling for those who haven't played Apples to Apples, a wonderful party card game that I was first introduced to at Convergence (the world's best convention TM). Since the game's now being sold in the mass market in the UK, and indeed, being pushed a bit in the Christmas rush, I feel rather more confident about presenting the basics for an absolutely non-official, no money to be made, Doctor Who version. Apples to Apples works by using two packs of cards, green cards, which have adjectives printed on them, and red cards, which show nouns or phrases. The game is about finding the green card which best describes a played red card, and that's where the hilarity lies. Doing a Doctor Who version would be less hilarious, I feel, if the green cards were changed to be more Who-ish, with adjectives like 'dimensionally transcendental', so my version keeps the green cards as is, also reflecting DW's mainstream nature. So a player will indeed have to decide if the Sensorites are 'quaint'.

Thus, my 162 red cards, complete with their 'flavour text' descriptions (which don't really describe the subject unless it's very obscure), would be:

The First Doctor: Not a mountain goat, and he prefers walking to any day.
The Second Doctor: Oh my word!
The Third Doctor: A cosmic yo yo.
The Fourth Doctor: What?! Ah!
The Fifth Doctor: Interesting!
The Six Doctor: Repeat three times, loudly.
The Seventh Doctor: Burnt toast and bus stations.
The Eighth Doctor: Half human on his mother's side.
The Ninth Doctor: Coming to get you!
The Tenth Doctor: He likes a little shop.
The Eleventh Doctor: Geronimo!
The Master: That jackanapes.
Davros: Made the Daleks in his own image.
The Daleks: Exterminate! Do not deviate!
Skaro: From the Lake of Mutations to the Petrified Jungle, the Dalek home planet.
The Kaleds: Kind of fated to become the Dalek race.
The Cybermen: You will be like us.
Mondas: Cyberman home, Earth's twin, with it's own Isle of Wight.
The Tardis: With a swimming pool, a boot cupboard and a typewriter control surface.
The Tardis food machine: You can get goo that tastes like bacon and eggs.
The Key to Time: A crystal that can stop everything so the universe can be fixed.
K-9: The shooty dog thing.
Playing Doctor Who in the playground: Who were you?
The Fourth Doctor's Scarf: Made by a witty little knitter.
The Song of the Ood: Ood mood music, made psychically.
The Blinovitch Limitation Effect: You can't mess with your own history (except when you can).
Luke Smith: He's not a real boy. But he is Sarah Jane's son.
Captain Jack Harkness: Does time travel the long way round.
Torchwood: Have never bothered with a pension plan.
The Slitheen: Always just a zipper away from revealing themselves.
The Sontarans: Sontar-ha!
UNIT: United... Something... Intelligence Taskforce.
Brigadier Lethbridge-Stewart: Enjoy saying his full name.
River Song: The Doctor's wife... oh, isn't she?
Rory Williams: No longer a Roman, or made of plastic.
Rose Tyler: Bad wolves like chips.
Martha Jones: A proper doctor.
Mr. Smith: Sarah Jane's computer partner.
Gallifrey: Seems to produce its share of renegades.
Christmas Special: A BBC institution.
The Archimandrite's Hat: From 'Androids of Tara', extraordinary millinery.
The Scarecrows: There's got to be a word for that lolloping they do.
Amy Pond: Come along, Pond!
The Sensorites: The Ood must hate it that their neighbours are psychic.
Spoilers: It sounds better coming from River Song.
My First Episode: You're old enough to have seen 'An Unearthly Child', right?
My Sonic Screwdriver: Could it be a bit more sonic?
My Favourite Companion: Who would you take on adventures?
My Favourite Story: Or the one you'll admit to.
My Doctor Who Fantasy: Could be a what, could be a who.
My Squee Moment: When you screamed at the screen in delight.
My Fan Fiction Experience: Do we want to hear about your Adric fic?
My Opinions on Dalek Design: No, go on, tell us.
My Doctor Who Impersonations: Your Mum says they're very good.
My Merchandise Collection: Do you have a special shelf?
My Convention Experience: What, really, in the elevator?
My Cosplay Moment: As Captain Jack, in the library, with the lead piping.
My Green Cathedral: I could play all day in it.
Bessie: The Third Doctor's car. I'm betting 'yellow' isn't in the pack.
Allons-y: Redirects to 'Tenth Doctor' on Wikipedia.
Donna Noble: Watch it, spaceman!
Executive Producer: One day it'll be you.
Question Mark Umbrella: The Seventh Doctor never seemed to need it for rain.
The Rod of Rassilon: Controls great power on Gallifrey.
Doctor Who Annuals: Used to be the only book about the show.
Terry Nation: He created the Daleks, and Blake's 7.
Silurians: The Earth's theirs, we're just squatters.
The Peking Homunculus: Otherwise known as Mr. Sin in 'Talons of Weng Chiang'.
The Pandorica: A trap for a Time Lord.
The Meddling Monk: Didn't seem bothered about the laws of time.
Adric: He had a badge for mathematical excellence.
The Zygons: Enjoyed life in Loch Ness, organised local charity functions.
The Ogri: Every stone circle is probably them.
The Zarbi: An actor inside every ant.
Venom Grubs: The grubs don't work, as The Verve nearly said.
Jelly Babies: Would you care for one?
UNIT Dating: Well, we don't know what they got up to, do we?
Running Down Corridors: About a whole episode's worth in the old days.
The Last Great Time War: They'd know it's the last one.
The End of the World: The episode or the concept.
Jago and Litefoot: The impressario and the doctor from 'Talons of Weng Chiang'.
Being Exterminated: You can get a cream for that now.
Sonic Lipstick: Careful with the settings.
Multi-Doctor Stories: So there are five of me now!
Regeneration: When two becomes three.
Venusian Aikido: hai!
Quarries: Sometimes not standing in for alien planets.
The Fall of Troy: Is there a Doctor in the horse?
Time Paradoxes: I hope I never have to write another one.
Quarks: They had strangeness and charm.
The Weeping Angels: Don't look away from this card.
Alternate Universes: Where there are always dirigibles, for some reason.
Vincent Van Gogh: Go on, describe his troubles with a funny noun.
Kroll: Kroll! Kroll! Kroll!
Harry Sullivan: Only qualified to work on sailors.
Movellans: Like the seventies never ended.
Reversing the polarity of the neutron flow: Can solve anything.
The Miniscope: The galactic zoo from 'Carnival of Monsters'.
Getting Knocked Unconscious: Tom Baker does it three times an episode.
The Fast Return Switch: Written in biro on the Tardis console.
The Destruction of Atlantis: You choose which version.
Target Novelisations: Often by Terrance Dicks.
Kissing the Doctor: Yuck, soppy stuff!
Screaming: Something companions used to do.
Waistcoats: Most Doctors favour them.
Spraining Your Ankle: Only happened three times in the whole series.
Slash Fiction: We've all written some adult fiction involving series characters.
Chameleon Circuit: He could fix it if he wanted to.
A Junkyard in Trotter's Lane: Where we first met the Doctor.
The Cloister Bell: Goes boom when there's doom.
Event One: The start of the universe.
The Panopticon: Named after a prison.
The Next Doctor: Carried a real screwdriver.
The Ark: At least they preserved a small elephant.
The BBC Radiophonic Workshop: Where bleeps come from.
The Spacetime Vortex: Seen in the title sequence.
Omega: Born Gallifrey, Died Amsterdam.
Frock Coats: The Doctor tends to favour them.
Hypnotism: The Doctor's skills in this vary wildly.
Autons: Plastic but fun.
Traken: Where Nyssa comes from.
Russell T. Davies: The man who brought back Doctor Who.
Steven Moffat: Current Executive Producer.
Rani: At least three characters called that.
The Eruption of Vesuvius: You have to save somebody.
Bigger on the Inside than the Outside: To put it simply.
Queen Elizabeth: We think we've worked out what happened.
The Doctor's Dancing: He could have danced all night.
Madame De Pompadour: The girl in the fireplace.
Ianto Jones: Made the coffee.
Retcon: The drug that... erm...
Question Marks: On the Doctor's clothes, sometimes.
Wearing a Fez: He does that now.
Giant Maggots: They're on the slag heap. I think they're breeding.
E Space: Not like our own universe. Cheaper.
The Mara: Not just a big snake prop.
The Mona Lisa: Or possibly in the plural.
Pete Tyler: Always crashing in the same car.
Cat Nuns: Armed and fabulous.
Hello Sweetie: Should be on a t-shirt.
Sally Sparrow: The angels have the phone box.
Being Ginger: The Doctor would like to be.
The Vashta Nerada: Stay away from the shadows.
Sarah Jane Smith: The defender of Earth.
Gold: What Cybermen are afraid of. Well, one of the many things.
Talking Straight to Camera: Tom and Matt both do it.
'Doctor in Distress': A charity record to save Doctor Who.
The Great Fire of London: The Doctor's responsible for almost everything.
Janis Thorns: What Leela uses to kill things.
Bad Wolf Bay: Looms large in Rose's legend.
Mickey Smith: Not just a tin dog.
Wilfred Mott: Was in the Paras, you know.
The Adipose: Made of fat, like so many good things.
The Shadow Proclamation: Were the law in the universe.
The Judoon: Fo Mo Po Ro Sho!
The Matrix: Not that one, where Time Lords go when they die.
DVD Easter Eggs: Just click all over the menu.
The Family of Blood: Not unjustly dealt with at all.
The Not We: How the Kinda tribe describe outsiders.
Paris: 'City of Death' as we call it, to the French tourist board's chagrin.
Pure Historicals: Stories with no monsters.
The Yeti: The ones with the spheres in their chests.

(Apples to Apples is (T) and (C) the Mattel corporation)

Muskrat out,

====== John

IGOR NEEDS OUR HELP!

Wed, 15 Dec 2010 21:56:40 GMT

Muskrat Ramblings
Igor needs our help!
posted by John

I hope that those times when I really ask for your help are few and far between.

I also hope that, for the most part, when I ask for a Tweet to be RT'ed, or an online poll to be shamelessly manipulated, you grin, and go to it with the good humor intended.

This is different.

I need your help. Specifically, I need your help, helping my friend Scott.

In case you don't know, my friend Scott Olman is the inspiration for Dork Tower's Igor. In a sense, he IS Dork Tower. Had I never know Scott, there's a good chance Dork Tower would be enormously different from what it is today. Scott's - and by extension, Igor's - love of life, and ability to laugh in the face of hard times, has been an inspiration both to my work and (more importantly) to me.

Scott is a cancer survivor, and has had struggles with health issues over the last decade. A few years ago, he almost lost his leg. For a while, he was driving to Milwaukee almost on a daily basis for treatments that - though painful and costly - eventually saved his leg.

Fortunately, Scott and his wife, Dawn, have health insurance. But here's the catch - with a 20% deductible, they still ended up having to pay more than $50,000 for the treatments. And that wiped out all of their savings. And then some.

Now, there's been a relapse, and Scott has to return to Milwaukee, for continued treatments. As a result of this, Scott and Dawn's financial situation has turned from on-the-edge to fully, terrifyingly over the precipice.

Now, apart from new medical expenses, they also face the very real threat of eviction, with back-rent owed.

It's not as if they're not trying: Dawn holds down a couple of jobs, and Scott's been job-hunting every day, though he's had no luck for a while. This is not a great time to job-hunt, anyway. So he's sold the majority of his gaming collection (along with many other things) just to help make ends meet.

Here's a small part of what I'd like to do to help.

I don't sell the covers of anything I've ever created - not a comic book, not a collection, not a game. I just don't. There's not one out there. They're special, to me. But to help Scott with his medical expenses - hell, to help Scott and Dawn with their back-rent, and, you know, NOT GET EVICTED, I'm selling one of my personal favorite pieces: the original artwork for Munchkin Zombies.

Click on the image or here for a larger version. This is a BIG piece - 14" x 17", pen and ink on bristol board, and it's REALLY nice.

The high bidder for the artwork will ALSO get a special Munchkin rule that ties into the Igor Fund, written JUST FOR THEM, by Munchkin creator Steve Jackson himself.

BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! I'll also draw the special rule card up, on a blabk Munchkin card, and that will be included in the package. You'll be able to play it in ANY game of Munchkin, to the extreme jealous of your co-Munchkins.

All proceeds from this auction will go directly to Scott and Dawn. I realize the $2,000 "buy-out" amount may be a bit of wishful thinking, but who knows? I *may* have a multi-millionaire follower in the Army of Dorkness, and if so, well, hey, maybe they'd like to act like a multi-millionaire RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE! :-)

But $2,000 is the goal to shoot for, between everything. "Everything?" you ask? Well, I've also encouraged Scott to set up a donation page on his blog. Asking strangers for money is never easy - at least not for people like Scott and Dawn, who want to work for their money. But this is important, and this is necessary.

I know that times are tough all around, and that many people across the country are going through stuff that's as bad as Scott now is. But Scott IS Igor, and without Igor, I dread to think what my career would have ended up as. Scott's not just my inspiration, he's also my friend. I want to help my friend out.

So please, if you've ever had a moment where Igor's made you smile, bid on the Munchkin Zombies cover. If that's out of your range, consider dropping something - anything - Scott and Dawn's way. It doesn't have to be a lot. But the Army of Dorkness is sizable, warm-hearted, and every little bit - even just a couple of bucks - helps.

You can bid on the Munchkin Zombies cover art HERE.

You can make donations directly to Dawn and Scott HERE. There's a button in the upper-right corner of Scott's blog, to contribute to the Dawn and Scott Help Fund!

I realize the economic times we're in. Please don't worry if you can't afford to help out right now. But if you can, well...I'd deeply appreciate it.

And who knows? If we can reach out goal of $2,000, I'll come up with something special, for everyone who helped out...

Just remember: YOU could be the ONLY person in the world to own a Munchkin cover - AND you'd be helping out Dork Tower's Igor - ermmmm...I mean, "my friend Scott" - at the same time!

Muskrat out,

====== John

MUSKRAT RAMBLINGS: Imagine

Wed, 08 Dec 2010 16:04:09 GMT

A column I wrote, 20 years ago - when I was a newspaper person in another life - about something that happened 30 years ago.

LENNON’S LIFE, LYRICS TOUCHED MANY LIVES

By John Kovalic
Wisconsin State Journal

About five years ago, I walked out of Paul McCartney’s “Give My Regards to Broad Street” and into the offices of the UW student newspaper, the Daily Cardinal, to type up my careful, considered review of the movie.

“Somebody,” I wrote, “shot the wrong Beatle.”

In the days that followed, as the Cardinal devoted what I’m still convinced were special issues – but may have been merely entire pages – to my hate mail, I decided to crawl underneath my desk and rethink my position. Friends told me Chicago Tribune columnist Bob Greene had become so violently incensed with my review that he stopped writing about Elvis Presely for a full five minutes to compose a column on how young people these days didn’t understand Paul McCartney.

The Bob Greene reports may have been spurious – I have yet to track down any such column – but if I ever get around to penning my autobiography (tentatively titled “I Wandered Lonely as a Clod”), I’ll probably gloss over what later came to be known as “The Broad Street Affair.”

Instead, I’ll try to focus on McCartney’s recent world tour. Specifically, on a three-song medley he performed in the middle of a block of Beatles numbers at a mobbed Soldier Field in Chicago.

I can’t even remember if he introduced the medley, yet its songs were unbearably wrenching: “Help!” “Strawberry Fields Forever,” and “Give Peace a Chance.”

Songs John Lennon wrote.

To be honest, McCartney’s versions of “Help!” and “Give Peace A Chance” didn’t strike me as anything to write home about at the time. They seemed rushed, and slightly harried. Maybe not dishonest, but not from the heart.

But the emotions I felt as he moved into the opening chords of “Strawberry Fields” were overwhelming.

Maybe it was the deferred hope diffused in “Strawberry Fields” that McCartney captured that night. Or perhaps it was simply his relative difficulty in relating to the lonely pain of “Help!” or the subdued urgency of “Give Peace a Chance” that made the middle song so powerful by comparison.

But – at that moment, during the opening chords of an abbreviated song he hadn’t even written – McCartney transformed his performance from Oldies Concert to Happening.

There seems to be a division among some Beatles fans, between Lennon supporters and McCartney apologists. It’s as if nobody can quite accept the fact that the band that produced “And Your Bird Can Sing” also put “Good Day Sunshine” on “Revolver.”

Every other radio station under the sun will be playing blocks of Lennon’s music today, on the 10th anniversary of his murder. “And Your Bird Can Sing” will undoubtedly be among them.

And at some point, there’ll be a Lennon song – it may be this or any one, it depends on how I’m feeling at the time – that gives me pause, that makes me think back to a cold day during my first year at the University of London, when I couldn’t believe the news.

At the time, I was a staunch McCartney apologist. In a sense – a few movie reviews to the contrary – I still am.

But when I heard the news, I felt cold.

Ten years ago, the BBC pulled its regularly scheduled evening broadcasts in the wake of the murder, and ran the movie “Help!” instead.

At some point today, a radio station will play a song. And I’ll start thinking about how one man can touch so many lives.

(c) 1990, Wisconsin State Journal

I always hated the headline. But the column was - and remains - heartfelt.

Muskrat out,

====== John

NaNoWriMo and More

Thu, 11 Nov 2010 18:20:16 GMT

Muskrat Ramblings
NaNoWriMo? NoNoNoNo
posted by John

So if you follow my Twitter Feed or catch my facebook page, you might have heard tell that I'll be doing a regular podcast with WEREGEEK's Alina Pete and GOBLINS' Tarol Hunt.

We're trying to get a few in the can, to work out the bugs and have a bit of a backlog. We're not announcing what it'll be called, yet, but I love the name and we've grabbed the URL. (Hint: given my Wisconsin residency, it will not be called "Two and a Half Candaians). Thundernerds are GO!

It's been a far more interesting project than I'd have imagined. And goodness knows, I'm sure adding another "gawrsh what fun!" gig to my schedule that I don't get paid for thrills the Lovely and Talented Judith no end. But last night was an...odd recording. At least for me: It's been almost a month since I've drawn a Dork Tower comic strip (I was four weeks ahead of the game, for a while there, but spent almost the entire month of October working on Munchkin Zombies - the first full, 164-card Munchkin game in nearly three years). So I was feeling a bit disconnected from my work, as we were discussing it in great, great detail.

Obviously, my life has seen some enormous, and enormously wonderful, changes these past three years, and overall I've been quite happy with Dork Tower these last 12 months. For the most part, I've kept to the schedule pretty DARNED well, which was one of the goals. Plus, I've been mostly happy with the quality of the gags, which was another. But finding time to do it - and to do it well - certainly gets more difficult as Louisa gets older.

Indeed, Louisa is home sick, today, and what little time I'll have to work on the Dork Tower bible (that some Hollywood folks want - trust me, not NEARLY as glamorous as you'd think) and a new backlog of strips (which I think will be quite good) will come during the Bean's nap.

DO NOT GET ME WRONG: any time spent with my daughter is magical and memorable, and is to be cherished. Right now, she keeps running into room in as I'm writing this, to hand me pictures of Brobee, Muno and Foofa (from Yo Gabba Gabba) that she's colored...along with one of Widget (from Wow! Wow! Wubbzy! - my pal Bob Boyle's show, which is like crystal meth for kids).

For the longest time, if you'd given me one wish, it would have been to develop into the best cartoonist that I could possibly be.

Now, that's changed. By far my main goal in life is to become the best possible FATHER I can be, to this beautiful little blonde-haired, blue-eyed sprite who keeps running into the room, thrusting crayon drawings at me, and yelling (alternately) "HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY" and "HAPPY HALLOWEEEEEEEN!" Which is particularly thrilling, as it's neither my birthday nor halloween.

There are places I want to go, things I want to see. There are cons I want to attend. But there is NO place I'd rather be, than with my wife and daughter. Right now, life is magical, and I don't ever want to take that for granted.

I just wonder, though...are being the best Dadda I can be, and being the best cartoonist I can be, mutually exclusive?

Probably not.

Maybe I'll figure that out, sometime.

Possibly one of these days, while Louisa's napping.

****

It's National Novel Writing Month (or, as professional authors call it, "November").

Chris Presta-Valachovic, on my facebook wall, asked "John, by any chance, could you repost your NaNoWriMo strips from a couple years ago? Pretty please? I've lost my prints of them...and they gave me impetus to keep going."

Well, far be it for me to go all Casey Kasem Request Line on your consciousness, and painful as it is for me to look at ANY piece of my work that's more than a couple of weeks old (srsly)...here you go. From 2007, the Matt Takes On NaNoWriMo series

Muskrat out,

====== John

Updates! We gochcer updates here! Nice, fresh updates!

Tue, 09 Nov 2010 18:33:19 GMT

Muskrat Ramblings
Updates! We gotcher updates!
posted by John

Life's been exceptionally busy, and the one thing to suffer most has been this blog. Sorry for being out of the loop, for a bit. Anyway, long story short, that's why this week, I'm running some Classics at DorkTower.com.

It's also why I didn't really plug DORKSTOCK VIII that much. Which bites. But it was great fun. As was Neil Gaiman's House on the Rock Halloween soiree, "A Gathering of American Gods."

I was hoping to go as Czernobog, the Slavic god (with the hammer) from American Gods. But the time crunch meant I had no time at all for costuming. So instead, I went as Neil. Which was a little lame. Especially compared to the Lovely and Talented Judith's Lakeside, WI "Dunk the Klunker" victim (again, from American Gods). But at least ONE very drunk lady mistook me for Neil himself. Which was both a little awesome but also very, very sad, at least for her. Trust me: seeing the costume, she had to be VERY drunk.

This is the closest anyone got to a pic of me with Neil, who makes an AMAZING Dr. Who, BTW.

This was the first time I'd been to the House on the Rock, and the Carousel and the Mikado room were all they ere cracked up to be. That the Halloween party was IN the House on the Rock itself was an amazing surprise. That I found a drink Station where they were serving Estancia Cabernet in 16-oz mugs was merely a bonus.

OK. On to much-neglected announcements. More to come soon.

****

The good news is, MUNCHKIN ZOMBIES is done! I spent most of October working on that, and even brought it in a week ahead of deadline. I'd been hoping to provide more comprehensive updates on its status here, over the course of the month. Instead, I spent the whole time drawing.

But Steve and I did provide some designer/artist notes over at GeekDad.com

MUNCHKIN ZOMBIES PREVIEW ONE is HERE

MUNCHKIN ZOMBIES PREVIEW TWO is HERE

MUNCHKIN ZOMBIES PREVIEW THREE is HERE

MUNCHKIN ZOMBIES PREVIEW FOUR is HERE

MUNCHKIN ZOMBIES PREVIEW FIVE is HERE

****

Mike Stackpole isn't just one of my favorite authors, he's one of my favorite people. So it was a lovely surprise to find out that his new superhero noir novel, IN HERO YEARS...I'M DEAD (full of action, adventure, satire and fun) contains a Doctor Blink: Superhero Shrink cameo. The good Doctor is mentioned in passing for having diagnosed a PTSD-like condition among retired superheroes.

At $5 to download, IN HERO YEARS...I'M DEAD is economical entertainment for comics fans. A free first chapter can be found RIGHT HERE.

****

Speaking of Dr. Blink - do you know her now has his own Twitter feed, @DrBlinkShrink. It can be found at https://twitter.com/DrBlinkShrink. Follow him, should you wish nuggets of advice, such as:

You would think with great power would come great psychiatric health benefit plans, but believe me, you would be wrong.

Dear superheroes: masks are for hiding your identity, not your feelings.

Not every Telepath wants to read your mind. Why waste the power when they could just read your twitter feed?

Supervillains are like lovers: sometimes they tie you up & taunt you because they like you. Sometimes.

If you’re changing into your super-hero costume in public and DON'T have super-speed, you’re just being an exhibitionist.

****

Everything's coming up Dr. Blink, as Christopher Jones and Melissa Kaercher, Team Blink's artistic duo extraordinaire, are featured in a new book, "Superheroes, Strip Artists & Talking Animals: Minnesota's Contemporary Cartoonists," by Britt Aamodt.

It's s grand book, and actually features a few of my pals.

Here's hoping a Wisconsin companion book is tackled, one day.

****

DORK TOWER HOLIDAY WRAPPING PAPER is now available at the GAMINGPAPER.COM website.

It should also be available soon from Friendly Neighborhood Gaming Stores near you, as it's been solicited by Alliance, Diamond and ACD distributors.

Does this make me happy? Yes. Yes, it does.

Does it make up for the fact that Louisa said "Charlie Brown" and "Snoopy" before she muttered "Carson the Muskrat."

Only time will tell...

Muskrat out,

====== John

Igor Bar Beta Testing

Thu, 07 Oct 2010 15:42:56 GMT

Muskrat Ramblings
Igor Bar Beta Testing
posted by John

One of my very favorite books of this last year was "Geek Dad," by my friend and editor Ken Denmead (@fitwillie on Twitter - hey, while you're there, look me up at @muskrat_john).

Subtitled "Awesomely Geeky Projects and Activities for Dads and Kids to Share," it is, in short, chock-full of the kind of weird and wonderful geeky/science-y activities I'd have given the tooth fairy BIG BUCKS for, when I was a kid. And as soon as Louisa's old enough, you're darn tootin' we'll be creating our own Superhero ABC book, or making our own Cyborg Jack-O-Lantern! The book's not just for dads, either, but parental geeks of any gender (I'm looking at YOU, asexual three-tentacled green protoplasm from the planet Sneeberg).

Anyeway, Ken (who edits the spectacular Wired "Geek Dad" website) asked me to write up a chapter for the upcoming "Geek Dad II" book. Which blew me away. Particularly since he hoped I'd go for a chapter on...Igor Bars!

Let's let that sink in, a minute.

IGOR BARS? In a REAL BOOK? That'll be, like, ALL OVER THE PLACE, and everything?

Um...WOW!

This meant, of course, coming up with a PROPER recipe for Igor Bars: not just the general guidelines that appear in Dork Tower from time to time.

I think the chapter's done, but - and here's where the Army of Dorkness comes in - I really need your help! I'd love it if a few brave souls made some Igor Bars over the weekend, following the recipe below. It's kinda like playtesting a set of rules. I know how these should look and taste, but it's got to be the reader that groks it.

So go crazy! PLEASE send me your feedback (and maybe even a photo or two) once you've made them, Ken and I would deeply appreciate it!
______________________________________________

Igor Bars
By John Kovalic

In the eight years since their creation, Igor Bars have become semi-legendary on the gaming convention circuit. I actually came up with the idea for them when I needed to find the Ultimate Excessive Gaming Snack – at least in the eyes of Igor, the most excessive character in my comic strip Dork Tower (http://www.dorktower.com). Their ensuing popularity, though, took me totally by surprise.

Since 2002, when Igor Bars were first introduced into the Dork Tower comic book, they’ve taken on a life of their own. Conventions will hold Igor Bar cook-offs, and there are web pages dedicated to them. But two aspects make Igor Bars particularly suitable projects to share with your kids. The first is, there are three different stages that all lend themselves to children’s differing kitchen abilities.

The second – and possibly most important – thing that makes baking Igor Bars a great kids’ activity is that they are almost infinitely improvisational. Igor Bar bake-offs are great fun at cons because of the huge number of variations (some far more frightening than others) that appear. Kids can have a fun time making these sweet treats THEIRS. Don’t like peanuts? Add some Heath Bar pieces instead. LOVE nuts? Add some in the cookie dough, too!

The classic Igor Bar consists of a layer of pan-style chocolate-chip cookies (although any cookie that can be baked pan-style will do), a layer of peanuts and caramel (which acts as the glue that holds the bar together), and a layer of Rice Krispie ® treats. Cut into squares, these can serve 30 or more kids. Heck, they’ve been known to take down that many ADULTS. But the big trick is to keep them moist: Igor bars should be chewy and scrumptious, not crisp and brittle.

INGREDIENTS:

Pan-style Cookie Base Layer
• 2 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1 t. baking soda
• 1 t. salt
• 1 cup butter, softened
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
• 1 t. vanilla extract
• 2 eggs
• 1 (12 ounce) package semi-sweet chocolate chips

Caramel Middle Layer
• Two 14-oz bags Kraft Caramels
• 3 Tb. milk or evaporated milk
• 1 t kosher salt (optional)
• 1 1/2 cups dry-roasted peanuts

Rice Krispie Treat® Layer
• 3 Tb. butter
• 1 package (10 oz., about 40) marshmallow or 4 cups miniature marshmallows
• 6 cups Rice Krispies® or other rice cereal.

Topping
16 oz semi-sweet chocolate chips

You will also need:

• 15x10-inch jelly roll pan (a 9” x 13” x 2.5” or thereabouts lasagna-size pan can be substituted, but thicker Igor Bars may prove tough for little mouths)
• cooking spray, margarine or butter to grease the pan
• baking parchment paper
• two saucepans
• double-boiler. Two, preferably.*

Preheat an oven to 375 degrees.

STEP ONE: PAN COOKIE LAYER

Grease a 15x10-inch jelly roll pan, and line it with parchment paper. Spray cooking spray onto the paper.

Combine the flour, baking soda and salt in small bowl. Beat the butter, the sugars and vanilla in large mixing bowl. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each. Gradually stir the flour mixture into the butter mixture. Stir in the chocolate chips. Spread in the pan. Bake 20-25 minutes or until golden brown. (I usually go for slightly “underbaked” here, at a scant 20 minutes bake time, to keep the finished Igor Bars moist and chewy. If you prefer more solid bars, the pan cookie can be bake for a few more minutes.)

STEP TWO: PEANUTS AND CARAMEL LAYER

Once the pan cookie is done, it’ll need some time to cool. While it’s baking is a good time to start unwrapping the caramels. This is easily the most tedious part of Igor Bars. Nobody will blame you if you designate this step to the kids’ nimble little fingers. Fortunately, you can sacrifice one or two caramel squares, for bribery purposes.

Place the unwrapped caramels, along with the milk and the salt (salty caramel is possibly the strongest argument I can think of for the existence of a loving deity – ignore the salt if your taste and/or worldview differs) in a saucepan. Cook on medium-low until the caramels are completely melted, stirring constantly. (This is a better job for the older kids – hot caramel’s nothing you want all over the floor or – more importantly – your progeny, and possibly you.)

You can also use a double-boiler for this step, if you wish. It’ll be a slower process, but there’s no risk of forgetting the caramel until the pungent smell of burnt sugar tells you it’s too late. If you only have one double-boiler, wash it after the caramels are poured, because you’ll need it later.

Pour the finished salty caramel over the cooled pan cookie, and spread evenly. Sprinkle the cup and a half of dry-roasted or other peanuts on top of this.

STEP THREE: RICE KRISPIES® TREAT LAYER

In a large saucepan over low heat, melt the butter and then add the marshmallows, stirring constantly until completely melted and mixed together. Remove from the heat and add the Rice Krispies®, one cup at a time, stirring them into the melted marshmallow. As soon as you have a mass of soft, crispy, chewy goodness, spread with a buttered spatula or wax paper on top of the caramel and peanut-layer.

Melt 16 oz of semi-sweet chocolate chips in a double-boiler. When melted, spoon or drizzle over the Igor Bars.

Wait until the bars are cooled, and cut into 2” –3” squares.

VARIATIONS:

Almost anything and everything can be added to Igor Bars! Let the kids get creative. Change up the chocolate-chip cookie layer: try a sugar cookie or oatmeal cookie base, instead! Add things to the caramel layer. Switch the topping to peanut-butter Rice Krispie® treats. Throw on some cut-up Peanut Butter Cups or crumbled English toffee pieces. Try a layer of frosting! Ad malted milk balls! Coconut! Chopped cashews! Dare we mention bacon? Or all of the above!

Look, nobody ever accused Igor Bars of being health food. In the famous words of Cookie Monster, Igor Bars are possibly the ultimate “Sometime Food.”

* Not everyone has a double-boiler on-hand, let alone two. You can melt the caramels and the chocolate topping in the microwave, as long as you use a microwave-safe bowl. Microwave at one-minute intervals on “High,” stirring frequently until fully melted. Be careful: the bowls will get hot.
______________________________________________

Thanks again, and thanks to Amy Stephenson of 107Cookbooks.com for the photos of her Beta Testing! (Note, she added an m&m layer to hers. Hmmmm. PRETZEL m&ms suddenly sound very Igor Bar-ish, right now...)

Anyway, for larger photos of the above, or to check out Amy's step-by-step technique, CLICK HERE and head over to her marvelous blog. To quote Amy:

"Wow. Igor Bars are overwhelming. The juxtaposition of the caramel and the Rice Krispie layer is brilliant, and the contrasts are numerous: sweet and salty, chocolate and cookie, nut and sugar, marshmallow and butter. I felt slightly dizzy after finishing my square."

Yer bestest pal forever,

====== John

The Munchkin (Art) Process

Tue, 05 Oct 2010 14:38:36 GMT

Muskrat Ramblings
Twitter is my Co-Pilot
posted by John

I'm not entirely sure how it happened, but suddenly I find myself a month ahead on Dork Tower.

Well, OK, I'm partly sure. Much of it came in a series of Tweets last week that turned out to be fine comic-strip punchlines (no, not the ones about bacon and vodka - more's the pity).

In part, I use my Facebook account and my Twitter stream as a testing-ground for material. If I throw off a line, and it plays well, there's a decent chance it'll make it into Dork Tower in punchline form. Or maybe a throwaway line will see life suddenly as a spiffy new t-shirt. The Internet's become something of a virtual sketchbook, for me. And ya know what? The system works!

It's also a direct line into Geek Though. When the news broke from Skywalker Ranch, I had to quickly - QUICKLY - cobble together a series of Star Wars 3D gags quickly, and bump back the strips I'd already done. With the advent of social networking, humor is more like a fish fillet than ever: if it's not fresh, it starts to stink. The humor cycle on Twitter is maybe - MAYBE - 24 hours.

And ideas are not to be sat on. Somebody, somewhere, will Tweet what you thought was your polished gem, should you wait too long on it. Publish it too late, and you'll get a couple hundred messages telling you that your "original" strip went viral last Thursday when Joe Pigfarmer from Iowa had the exact same line, but got it out there before you had a chance. Oh, and by the way, you're lame, you suck, and you probably ripped it off him. Pigfarmer hater. Loser.

In the old days - you know, five years ago - you'd do a strip for a magazine or a newspaper, and it wouldn't run for a month or more. You could plan for the future. You could relax. Sit back, Have a cuppa. Now, of course, you're up against everyone on the planet with WiFi. This cartoon ran back in February, but it really is how I feel some mornings:

So I'm a month ahead. I'm not sure that all the cartoons this month are classics. But I like a lot of them. I think I hit the "one-in-three" ratio, and then some.

Being a four-weeks ahead certainly allows a bit of breathing room. If I go over the strips, and realize that the Dork Tower scheduled to run (saaaaaay) two weeks from this Friday isn't the best thing I've ever done - indeed, doesn't work at all - I have some time to try and come up with something better.

But on a day-to-day basis, it also means I don't have to draw a cartoon every single Monday, Wednesday and Friday on deadline, and can just sit down and crank them out when the ideas hit.

It also means I've got nice large blocks of time to think about the big projects for the month: Munchkin Zombies needs to be off my drawing table by the first week of November. I have a screenplay to begin, and a television pitch to work up. And finish off two games I'm creating. And try and get "Ooze the Cook" artwork off my "to-do" list. And complete some paintings that were commissioned. And...

Of course, this is all in an ideal world. Unfortunately, the Internet isn't always the final word on humor. Sometimes (saaaaay, two weeks from this Friday) a strip will go up run that just KILLED online. But in comic form, it falls flat. The timings off, it doesn't translate, or, in the immortal words of the Smiths, "that joke isn't funny anymore."

And when a cartoon runs that isn't as HI-larious as I thought it would be...or I realize I uploaded something that's not my best work, well, that's a gut-churningly sucky feeling. I just want to crawl under a rock.

And hide from the world.

And Tweet about it.

Twitter is my co-pilot.

I just wish it knew how it ink, as well...

Yer bestest pal forever,

====== John

HELP WANTED: an update

Fri, 01 Oct 2010 19:20:07 GMT

Muskrat Ramblings
HELP WANTED! An update.
posted by John

There used to be a post on the Dork Tower home page about needing help with the website.

Frankly, we've been FLOODED with volunteers. So I thought it best to remove the post for the moment as Webgoddess Cat sorts through the dozens and dozens of volunteers.

If you still want to read what the post was, I'm leaving it up on my LiveJournal page.

Cat's own words:

"With this many volunteers, I might split up some of the other jobs that need doing and farm them out too!

"We may have a chance to make this moving MUCH quicker than I thought!

"Your visitors are SO COOL!"

I could not have said it better myself. I am stunned and gratified by all the offers of help. Trust me: we NEED it. :-)

I am only left to believe I HAVE THE GREATEST READERS IN THE WORLD.

Thank you all so very much!

Yer bestest pal forever,

====== John

Help Wanted - Apply Within

Thu, 30 Sep 2010 14:12:11 GMT

Muskrat Ramblings
HELP WANTED!
posted by John

I'm passing along a call for volunteers - a couple of volunteers, to be specific - from Dork Tower webmistress Cat.

While this gig (helping out an obscure cartoonist, and his sucky, sucky website that we're trying to make, you know, "cool") is non-paying, you know we'll pull together an EXCEPTIONALLY cool swag pile for whomever helps out.

Anyway: Cat's note:

__________________________________________________________________

Dear Dork Tower readers,

As most of you know, we have been having some troubles with our server. And unfortunately, some of those troubles have included "missing" comic images in our archives (as well as a really bad archives widget). I won't go into the reasons for WHY we have been having the troubles - let's just say that we've been trying to fix them and have been frustrated and leave it at that.

We're working very hard (you should the hamsters on their wheels powering our generators - they could take Usain Bolt in a hundred meters EASY, by now).

However, I, the poor, overworked web-slave.....ah....web mistress, am trying to fix the problems.

One of the ways we're going to make the site better is to move to a Wordpress theme (which should really be called an extension) called ComicPress. You may have seen this theme in action on places like the wonderful PvP - and I'm sure you know that it is a LOT easier to nvigate for all of you -- and much easier to work with for us!

But we need a volunteer or two. We have THOUSANDS of comics that we have to rename (because ComicPress has a specific naming system), and we CAN'T use a batch file renamer.

We need a volunteer/some volunteers to be willing to rename these comics according to instructions.

If you're willing, these are the qualifications you need to have:

1) Even if you aren't a "techy" per se, you NEED to know how to read HTML. You will have to look at the source code to find which image goes with which post.

2) You need to be "nit-picky" (some of the missing comics are missing because of case sensitivity issues - and you may need to search for the right comic in order to rename it).

3) You need to be creative with words. Some comics don't have titles - and when we weren't having to do something like this, we didn't bother to fix the titles (one of the previous renditions of the website had gotten hacked, and deleted almost all of the old titles). So, you are going to need to come up with a short, pithy title (which, of course, will have to be approved). Adding appropriate Tag words to make searches easier is a big plus.

4) You need to be deadline conscious (we would like to get this transition done SOON - we don't want things to be bad for you guys any longer than necessary.)

5) You need to follow instructions to the letter. ComicPress is very specific about file naming conventions, and it MUST be followed.

If you've got these skills/characteristics - DorkTower wants YOU! Please use our feedback form to volunteer for this position!

Thanks!

Cat

__________________________________________________________________

So there you have it. If you have the time, the skill and the inclination, we'd love to hear from you. There are big plans afoot, and some incredibly cool swag to boot. And my eternal gratitude. And maybe more. Let's talk.

If you're interested, please contact Cat Wagner at Cat Dot Wagner At Gmail. Dot Com, or simply fill out the feedback form and specify Cat as the recipient. (And yes, the "You need to follow instructions to the letter" bit WILL be tested here. E-mails to me (John) will be scowled upon, before forwarding them to Cat.

A thousand thanks to whomever the victims...er...um...LUCKY VOLUNTEERS turns out to be!

Yer bestest pal forever,

====== John