After losing 0-1 in a heart-breaker Friday night at the Duck Pond (aka Warner Park), the Madison Mallards came back in Thunder Bay, defeating the Boarder Cats 4-3 in game two of the Northwoods League Championship series.

Tonight is the third and final game, in Thunder Bay. If the Mallards win, they're the 2008 Northwoods League Champions.

Yesterday was a spectacularly poor day for me, which seems to have been the universe's way of telling me I should have taken the Mallards Fan Bus to Thunder Bay ($50 - cheap!). In retrospect, it would have been a blast, and far better than the day that I had. Then again, in retrospect, a root canal would probably have been better than the day that I had.

Anyway, if anyone wants to follow the game along with me, just tune in to Madison Sports Radio 100.5 FM around 5:45 pm CST for the pre-game, 6:05 pm CST for the game. Live streaming of the radio broadcast is available online - just follow that last link, as well, or Google "Madison Mallards Radio.".


Winner-take-all tonight for Mallards, Border Cats
Wednesday 20th August 2008

By: Michael Schroeder

Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada - The Madison Mallards and the Thunder Bay Border Cats will battle once more tonight from Thunder Bay, with this contest deciding the 2008 Northwoods League Champion. The best-of-three series is tied at one game apiece after Madison took game two Saturday night 4-3. Alex Rivers, winner of game one of the South Division Championship Series for the Mallards with 7.2 innings of two-hit baseball, will start on the mound in game three tonight. He has not faced Thunder Bay this season. The Border Cats will give right-hander Michael Raymond the game ball. He started on June 24 against the Mallards and pitched five innings, allowing just two hits and striking out nine. Fans can watch the Mallards try to bring home a championship on nortwoodsleague.tv, or can listen on the radio at wtlx.com.

Mallards move on to Northwoods League Championship Series with 14-5 triumph

The Mallards swept the Wisconsin Woodchucks Tuesday and Wednesday to win the Northwoods League Southern Division title. Last night's 14-5 win over the Woodchucks was about as fun a game for me as there could be. I'm a worrying kind of fan, so give me a blowout over a close game, over a pitcher's duel ANY day of the week.



The Mallards now move on to the Northwoods League Championship Series, against the Thunder Bay Border Cats. Game one is Friday night in Madison, games two and (if necessary) three are Saturday and Sunday in Thunder Bay, Ontario. With luck, the Mallards can keep playing the kind of ball that's been all too absent from their game since taking the first half of the season.

But: YAY! One more Mallards game in Madison this year!

GO MALLARDS!

****

Worst spam/phishing come-on opening 'graph EVAR:

"My name is JEROME KERVIEL, a ROGUE TRADER in charge of VANILLA FUTURES HEDGING FOR EUROPEAN EQUITY MARKETS with Societe Generale Bank Paris France. I got your contact through cross border business information centre situated here in Paris and picked interest on you after going through your profile for a mutual benefit."

Though this line was pretty awesome, further down:

"The truth of the matter is that I was used as an escape goat to cover my superiors who happens to be the master minders over the deal..."

Escape Goat. I think this needs to be a character in Dr. Blink...

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Thank god John Edwards never became president. Not because his inability to keep his zipper zipped could have brought down the White House, nor because of any particular policies of his, but because the United States' editorial cartoonists seem to have a singular difficulty in coming up with even a halfway decent caricature of him.

Of course, I'm no great caricaturist. For goodness sakes, I'm lucky when I get a line straight. Still, Edwards doesn't seem THAT hard to pin down. But darn if anybody managed to capture him since last Friday's quasi-scandal. This is even more surprising when you consider he's been on the national scene for four years now, after his unsuccessful bid with Kerry in 2004.

No, it's not been a good week for the nation's caricaturists. And it's still only Thursday. To wit: John Edwards or Donald Trump? YOU make the call...

(click here to view)

Chip Bok Akron Beacon-Journal Aug 13, 2008 EditorialCartoonists.com

John Edwards or Donald Trump? YOU make the call: Part Deux...

(click here to view)

Nick Anderson Houston Chronicle Aug 12, 2008 EditorialCartoonists.com

Edwards or...golly...I have NO idea. YOU make the call...

(click here to view)

Matt Wuerker Politico.com Aug 13, 2008 EditorialCartoonists.com

( No..seriously...what's with his NOSE? )

Today's Dork Tower is up.



Click here, there or anywhere to see it.

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The Madison Mallards won the first game in the Southern Division playoffs, beating the Wisconsin Woodchucks 4-1 in Wausau. It's the first game that's really meant anything to the Mallards in a while (they won the first half of the season in the Southern Division, and have been out of the race for home field advantage for a some time, now, thanks to a second-half collapse that saw them lose two games for every one they won).

This is also the first game they've won all year in Wausau (the Woodchucks, similarly, haven't won in Madison), and it puts them in a position to win the Southern Division (and go on to the Northwoods League Championship series) tonight, in Madison. First pitch: 7:05 pm.

Go Mallards!

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Dinner a couple of nights ago:

I found some lovely fresh egg noodles at Midway Asian foods, and couldn't wait to use them. So I picked up a half-pound of organic chicken breast from Artamos Deli, and pulled the string beans and carrots we had from this week's Farm Box out of the fridge, and came up with pan-fried noodles with chicken and beans, in a fresh garlic and ginger white sauce.



Unfortunately, we'd run out of sesame oil, a couple of dashes of which would have given it that lovely, smoky foundation I crave from pan-fried noodles. But the peanut oil did its job, and I was really happy with the results.

Though not one of the most glamorous cookbooks around, I find the Thousand Recipe Chinese Cookbook just a real solid companion, for its simplicity and ability to demystify Chinese cooking. Once you've gotten solid in a few of the recipes here, it's easy as heck to improvise a stir-fry. while I'm far from a master of Asian foods, but I do love this book. You can find earlier editions for it dirt-cheap at places like Half-Price Books.

Worst comes to worse, you can throw it at people who don't appreciate your cooking, and do some real damage.

****

Speaking of Asian foods, I finally found myself on the West side of Madison for lunch, the other day, giving me the opportunity to try a Vietnamese sandwich (Bahn Mi) for the very first time.

Saigon Noodles on Odana Road does possibly the best bowl of Pho in Madison, and it's Bun Ka (a fabulous rice noodle dish with superbly grilled chicken, fresh vegetables, and a delectable sweet and spicy chili-garlic sauce) has long been a favorite of ours. Still, I'd always been intrigued by the sign in their window for "Vietnamese Sandwiches."

Partially inspired by Kevin Weeks' rather terrific article on sandwiches at NPR.org, I tried one at last.





Holy cow, what took me so long to discover these? The bread was lovely - a fresh, crisp crusted (but not overly crunchy) mini-baguette that was perfectly chewy and delicately flavorful. I'd imagined there would be more fillings than there were, but what was there was great: grilled chicken, daikon, cucumber, thinly-sliced jalapeno, cilantro, carrot, chili-garlic sauce...and inexpensive, too, at $3.90.

I suspect this was not even a particularly great example of the genre - as far as I can tell, Saigon Noodles is the only place in Madison that makes these fresh (on Thursdays, Midway Asian gets some in from Milwaukee) - but it blew me away. I can't wait to find the truly outstanding Bahn Mi in Chicago, New York, or wherever...

****

Hey. It's Gen-Con week, isn't it?

Yeah. Damn. Not gonna be there...

Again.

Damn.

Today's Dork Tower is up.



Click here, there or anywhere to see it.

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Am I the only person on teh internets freaking out that there's war going on between Russia and Georgia right now?

****

Oh, bloody hell and dammit. It's the last two regular season home games for the Mallards, already.

They made it into the playoffs next week y winning the first half of the Northwoods League South Division. However, the team kind of collapsed in the second half, finding new and exciting ways to lose almost every night.Their 11-20 record means that they've lost almost twice as many games as they've won in the second half.

It also means we really really really want the Waterloo Bucks or the Lacrosse Loggers to take the second half, if we've any hope at all of getting home field advantage.

Unfortunately, we play the Bucks tonight and tomorrow.

Grumble grumble grumble grumble.

Anyway, Daniel Logan, who portrayed Boba Fett in Star Wars Episode II will be at the Duck Pond tonight. Here's a little drawing I did for the Mallards, for a handout they've been using:



****

With apologies to Scott Bateman:

John Kovalic's Sketchbook of Seacrest and Sham









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My main computer, a Mac desktop Dual 2.5 GHz Power PC Gr running 10.5.4, has slowed down incredibly, recently.

Don't wanna buy a new computer. Wasn't planning on buying a new computer. But I gotta figure out why it's become so slow and pause-y, recently...

****

I truly believe no news story this year can possibly get weirder than this one. Ever.

Dog-cloner denies she was Mormon sex kidnapper Joyce McKinney

It has:

* Cloning of a deceased pitbull in South Korea

* Mormon door-to-door missionary kidnapped and held as sex slave in mink-lined handcuffs at a 17th century English cottage

* International fugitive disguised as a nun holed up in AppalachianMountains

* Topless photos of 70s party girl

And these quotes:

“I loved him so much that I would ski naked down Mount Everest with a carnation up my nose if he asked me to.”

"I believe that Booger was an angel that God rented out to me for short period of time," she said. "And he knew I would be lost without him, so he sent me some more. He sent me five more mini-Boogers."

I am in awe of this story.

Today's Dork Tower is up...



Click here, there or anywhere to see it.

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The Only Spam Haiku I could get out of Today's Spam
(Depending on Whether you Pronounce "Failure" "Fai-u-lar" or not)
By John Kovalic, and his Spammers

Girl takes down five guys
baby borned with two privates
failure notice

Well, Apart From This One, If You're Gonna Be Pedantic About It
By John Kovalic, and his Spammers

failure notice
baby borned with two privates
Girl takes down five guys

****

Good lord...is it really Monday already?

It was an amazing weekend, for a number of reasons.

Friday was Dr. Beth's birthday - she of Team Blink. So the gang went to watch the Madison Mallards play the arch-rival Wisconsin Woodchucks.

Well, my pal Phillip needed some help pulling a fast one over my great friend (and his girlfriend) Dory. Dory is known to have more than a little Nancy Drew in her (along with a healthy dose of Dolly Levi, but that's another post). Thus we needed something that wouldn't raise any suspicions whatsoever. So here's the set-up: Phillip and I conferred with some Mallards staff folks, and got everything squared away. I then told Dory that she and I were going to play "Name That Tune" on the field, in-between the fourth and fifth innings (the Mallards are big on mid-inning promotions and entertainment).

I then handed Phillip my camera, and said, loudly and obviously, "Here...come along and take some pictures of this.

So the three of us proceeded onto the field, where...


( The pics you can see me taking, after the cut. )

Bottom line: I did a good deed, AND now know what it's like to get booed by a crowd of 7,499 people! (I'd have said 7,500, but Judith assures me she didn't boo.)

(Many thanks to Dossy Shiobara for providing the YouTube-Fu).

****

Someone brought one of my books to the ballpark, knowing I hang out there in the summer. It was VERY cool to sign a copy of "Attack of the Editorial Cartoonists" in front of Mallards staff while organizing the engagement stunt. I just wish Judith could have seen it!

****

Later in the game, a young kid was leaving, sad that he hadn't gotten a baseball from the players.

"Hey, guys!" I shouted, to a group of Woodchucks near the fence. "Swap you some bratwurst for a ball for this kid, here!"

Number 32 underhanded a ball to me, and I passed it on to the little boy, who was ecstatic.

"Oh, my god," I exclaimed, to my pal Scotty. "I can do ANYTHING today! There is NOTHING I can't do! What do you want? Ask me! Ask me anything! I'll make it happen!"

"I want a Mallards jersey," said Scott.

"Oh, MAN," I shook my head, slowly. "Scott - you BLEW it! You could have asked for WORLD PEACE, but instead, you went for the Mallards jersey!"

"In his defense, they ARE pretty nice jerseys," noted The Todd.

****

Alcohol MAY have been involved in the above exchange.

***

Here's a better shot of that CONvergence Guest of Honor badge cajones drew for me.

We both think it should be a cover for a Dr. Blink issue.



I especially like the hourly rates.

Today's Dork Tower is up...



Click here, there or anywhere to see it.

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Larry Harmon, the man who played Bozo the Clown, has died at the age of 83. This is a damn shame.

Generations of kids grew up on Bozo here in the US, and this news can mean only one thing:

Many crappy Bozo obituary cartoons.

However, since it's a holiday weekend in the US ("The Fourth of July") and in England ("Thank God We Got Rid of Those Americans Day"), many cartoonists may not get the chance to phone in a Bozo at the Gates of Heaven cartoon until Monday.

So here's your very own "Do It Yourself Bozo Obituary Cartoon."



Grab it, open photoshop, and beat many a salaried editorial cartoonist to the punch! Post your results in the comments section below! Bonus points if you have St. Peter saying something that is later used by a salaried editorial cartoonist!

(Note: there will prolly be fewer Gates of Heaven cartoons for Bozo simply because a fair number will also take the "Two People Reading a Newspaper or Watching TV news about the election/Congress/Bush/Whatever and Commenting 'At least we have THESE Bozos left...'" tack. Or maybe just a CLOWN...with a TEARDROP...sniff...)

EDIT: Former Senator Jesse Helms passed away as well. So...take your pick! (And yes, since you asked, people DO wear their campaign buttons at the Pearly Gates. Has Editorial Cartooning taught you nothing? Frankly, I should have labelled Bozo "Bozo," St. Peter "St. Peter" and the Pearly Gates "Heaven." I stop short of calling the Clouds "Clouds," though...)



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A note from my Mom, in London:

"A huge thank you to your readers from glorious, sunny London. Your dad will be well chuffed when I take his laptop to the hospital for him to read. Tomorrow, I think. Get wells from places we've loved in our travels. Places we have yet to explore. They will be a great morale booster. Thanks to each!"

Thanks a million, gang! Dad's doing great, I'm told. I deeply appreciate all the good thoughts!

And if anyone wants to keep posting Get-Well-Soons to my dad (I want to say "Father Muskrat," but that sounds a bit like a Terry Pratchett character), feel free to!

****

The Madison Mallards swept the Battle Creek Bombers in their own crib last night, 8-2 in the first game and 7-2 in the second. This means they're First Half Southern Division Champs, which also means an automatic playoff berth come August! They beat out the Wisconsin Woodchucks by a half a game, meaning the de-facto rivalry will now become even more hated. As the Woodchucks had a five-game lead just a couple of weeks ago, a crueler fan might refer to them as the Wood-chokes.

Not me. No-siree bob. Uh-uh...

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Last night at CONvergence, there was a lovely young lady who filled out a Power Girl costume, uh...well...um...I suppose "spectacularly" is the only word that comes to mind.

I have a camera with me, but didn't have it on me at the time, which is a darn shame. On the other hand, that may be a good thing, as the lens might well have melted. Power Girl is NOT an easy costume to pull off well.

I'll try and upload other CONvergence images later. But the con is going brilliantly, and I'm relaxed and happy. Spent much time at the Dreaming cabana party, were everyone pulled off an Egyptian theme brilliantly, and were kind enough to give me a little Dreaming gift bag, complete with Dreaming beer and Dreaming shot glass! (I was too late for the House of Toast party, which had run out of toast by the time I'd gotten there - tonight, perhaps...)

You know how you alays hope one set of your friends likes another set of your friends? I think there should be a CONvergence/Warpcon exchange program. My two favorite cons in the world need to see just how fabulous each other is...

The Mallards aked for another cartoon, for the program for the second half of the season. So, yay.



And, re: CONvergence:



Go here to see why. :-)

Did you check out THIS My Little Cthulhu photograph, which filled me with such glee?

This one, to me, is even funnier.

Of course, I'm a total geek...

It's a good day. Plus, like, the Madison Mallards asked me to do a comic for their 2007 program, and Scrubs Season 5 DVD just came in.

In fact, I should just go to bed now, and not tempt any more goodness from the day.